Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Saturday, January 9, 2010 itu adalah last date ak wat entry untuk blog ak ni.... HANGAT2 Taik Kucing je !! huhu.... tp xkesah la.... Sbb tujuan ak ad blog dulu pun sbb ak nk access blog2 plu ni < i am soooooooo gay> :) byg kn ak xde tulis entry pun slame 4 thn lebih ni.... Ingt ak tobat jd str8? mmg mustahil la... ak byk jumpe org da kawin... sume STILL GAY! diorg x berubah pun... Lagi lahap cari ONS ade la... dari yg nmpk mmg baik (lompat2 ats semut pun mati) sampai la yg kalu tgk skali je da tau gatal. Idop ak slame 4 thn ni xde beza pun dari time ak bljr kt U dulu (2010)...dlm ms tu byk manusia yg ak jumpe... n byk ak makan ati... ad time gak ak dpt kwn2 baru... dpt jumpe bf ak... TAPI sume tu pengalaman yg mengajar ak mkna kepayahan kalu kite ni GAY, berbangsa mlayu dan beragama islam, dok plak kat MALAYSIA... satu situasi yg mn BEING GAY IS SOOOOO DEAD WRONG.. Skang plak ak kt satu point dlm idup ak yg membuatkan ak tertny-tny stiap ari, KNAPE AKU? Knape aku? Jadi, secara rasminye, hari ni tanggal 25/11/2014 ak akn stat mengeblog kembali... Biau la xde readers pun... Tulis untuk diri sendiri bace pun ok da... sbb idop ak skang stresssssssss HUHUHUHU....

there's no way i can be straight, bcoz i am not from the very beginning

the TRIGGER... how it all began...

the subject that i hate the most during school is history.. but only with history to begin with...then we are here.

its d same as myself... why i turned up like this??? there must be at least a trigger...

sejak azali dah minat kt laki.... tp ms tu xpnah t'lintas pn nk lebih dr skadar meng'usha'...

hmmm....
(oleh kerana penat nk tulis dlm english, so tulis dlm malay je la...)

al kesah mase form 2 (14 y o)... ak didekati oleh sorg budak... namenye Mohd *&%^$3...
(hahaha..tetap xnk gtau)...

mule jual mhl...pastu ak lyn.. tp dia str8 n bukan plu.... (so dissapointed bil p.k balik...)
baru2 ni dia ad kol... nk ajk jumpe (tgh gersang le tu).. n ajk ringan2...tp

pastu tibe dia xnk... konon nye time tu la ingt dose.... (tp lantak la... ak tau knp dia tibe2 ubah statement... mksudnye dh dpt betina mn2 la tu...



haih... susah jd bottom ni!!


Iekbal

Many Years Ago...

i started to have feelings for men since i was a kid....

You see, even during my primary school I started to get attracted to good looking boys.

Haha.. That's why all my childhood friends back then are quite handsome... I'm very choosy you know.. Back then, I'm too young to understand the meaning of complicated words such as "Like", "Love", "Concern" towards people... I don't realize that I actually fall for someone of the same gender as me.... (Arienai tsuno)

For me... this is fated... whether I like or not... I used to ask God so many times..."Why me???" but now, my mind already accept that I'm not like my str8 friends, not even like my father.... But still, my heart can't accept it... but I have to keep walking... I don't have time to wait for my heart to approve my fate and start walking by then because waiting would cost me my time.

"Time is free, but it's priceless..
You can't own it but you can use it..
You can't keep it but you can spend it..
Once you've lost it you cant get it back"

Guess I have to make myself happy.. in my own way..

Ja mata kimasu..




Iekbal

GREETINGS

"Laugh As Much As You Breathe, Love As Long As You Live"

Hi, just call me Iekbal...
I'm 22 years old... from Malaysia..

Never thought of having a blog for myself... seriously, I don't even have a slight idea of what to share... but maybe I will post my life story here since I don't think I like it much...because..

I AM GAY!

Hmmm... Even though I've been like this since I was 14... In my heart I still can't accept it... It's not fun when YOU are treated as a Sinner (since my religion do not allow homosexuality)...

there's mix feelings in my heart... a bit Happy because I can like someone even if it's a man,

a bit scare because common society...including my str8 friends would hate me if they learn about my sexuality,

and really sad because I know my parents will extremely disappointed if they find out about this...

well... this is it... I hope I can find the real answer, the real me this time...

drop me a comment if you feel like to... and enjoy reading the story of my life...





iekbal